12 Secrets to Teaching Your Child How to Manage Their Emotions

By Lois V. Nightingale, PhD, GoodTherapy.org Topic Expert

Giving children coping skills for their emotions is one of the most important tasks of parenting. Children lacking these tools may blame others for how they feel or demonstrate how they’re feeling in inappropriate ways. If a child has no words to verbalize their intense emotions, they’re at risk for being emotionally stunted for the rest of their lives. Emotionally arrested adults lack the ability to self-soothe when they’re upset, or to delay lashing out on an impulse.

The following are 12 tips to give your child tools for handling their uncomfortable feelings:

Use feeling words when speaking to your child. “Sad” and “disappointed” are feeling words. “What were you thinking?” and “You never listen!” are not.
Be more curious and less educating. Ask your child to elaborate about their uncomfortable feelings. An example of this is to say, “You seem sad, tell me about it,” not “That’s not a good reason to feel that way.” Don’t shame or scold your child about their feelings, even if your goal is to make them feel better.
Don’t keep score. “Well, now you know how that feels,” “Well, if you hadn’t …” and “That happened to me and I didn’t feel that way!” are statements that teach kids their feelings are wrong. This may lead to them feeling bad about themselves and becoming defensive.
Talk about negative emotions being transitory, like the weather, the tides, seasons, or the phases of the moon. Feelings will change; they have to. It’s okay to feel bad. Respect the uncomfortable feeling and remember it will change.
Get a poster of emojis with the feelings written below each face. Refer to it often.
Every evening, take turns talking about the pleasant and unpleasant feelings you each experienced that day. Focus on the emotions such as “proud,” “frustrated,” etc., and put less focus on the story or circumstance preceding each feeling.
Talk about how you handle your...(Click here to continue reading)

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in ThinkerNation - Blog

The Magic of Play-Based Learning: What Builds and What Breaks?

One of the biggest issues for children today is that there is an overall absence of free-play. Life is so competitive, so busy. We naturally want our child to have all of the advantages he or she deserves. And so, we sign them up for all sorts of activities; we emphasize academics; and, we orchestrate play-dates in their free time.

While all of these facets of childhood have their place, child-led play is invaluable. It really is where the magic of play-based learning happens. So much so that the World Health Organization identified play as a right that should be guaranteed to all children.

A 19-Year Study Reveals Kindergarten Students With These 2 Skills Are Twice as Likely to Obtain a College Degree

It's hard to believe that what your child knows at age 5 could influence his future chances of success. But that's exactly what a 2015 study published in the American Journal of Public Health found.

But researchers discovered that the skills that predict future success had nothing to do with reading or writing. Instead, they say your child's social and emotional skills are what determine how likely your child is to go to college rather than end up in jail.

Electronic Baby Toys Associated with Decrease in Quality and Quantity of Language in Infants

Electronic toys for infants that produce lights, words and songs were associated with decreased quantity and quality of language compared to playing with books or traditional toys such as a wooden puzzle, a shape-sorter and a set of rubber blocks, according to an article published online by JAMA Pediatrics.